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Carkhuff Thinking Systems
Importance Of Parenting
Parenting is one of the most important responsibilities that we
assume in life. Many assume that parenting is learned naturally - that we
learn this role as a result of our own formative experiences. It is
interesting that a role this important isn't taught in a more formal
setting. (1)
Roles Of Parenting
Parenting is a many-faceted role. As parents, we are physical
caretakers, providers of basic needs, teachers, counselors, mentors,
coaches and lifelong friends. Each of these roles is important, but perhaps
one of the most important is the parental role of teacher.
Parents As Teachers
Parents are not only teachers: they are the most influential
teachers their children will ever have. And they teach their children in
many ways.
Teaching About The World
Children learn from the behavior and teaching of their parents. As
parents, we teach them about the world - about the facts, concepts, and
principles that we are learning ourselves. This type of teaching and
learning requires that we spend quality time with our children and make
ourselves available to them on a regular basis.
Providing Experiences and Relating
Children learn from the experiences provided by their parents. These
experiences include nearly every aspect of home and family life. They learn
how to respect authority and assume responsibility. They learn how to set
goals and achieve them. They learn how to care for others and to value the
things in life that have meaning, beauty and importance. Positive and
enriching experiences help kids to grow, to develop and to love learning.
Negative, retarding or destructive experiences cause kids to avoid and
dislike learning.
Learning By Imitation
Children learn by imitating the behavior of their parents. When
children imitate something, they practice what they see. If they see
loving, constructive parents who reach out and support others, they will
follow this example. If they see destructive parents who do not relate to
or support others, they are likely to imitate that as well. The healthier
and more facilitative we are, the healthier they will be. When we rate and
evaluate our levels and our children's levels of functioning, we open the
door to improving their health and wellbeing.
Learning By Reward
Last, children learn by being rewarded by their parents. Rewarding a
child means praising and encouraging them and acknowledging their efforts
and accomplishments. Kids tend to repeat the behaviors for which they are
rewarded. They may also repeat the behaviors for which they are punished;
hence, punishment may be fruitless. This means we need to learn to reward
the behaviors that move our children in positive, growth-producing
directions. We do this by being observant and rewarding their efforts and
positive accomplishments.
New 3Rs Of Parenting
To summarize, you become a healthy and productive parent:
- By relating to your
children and to their experiences.
- By rating their
healthfulness and evaluating their needs and strengths.
- By rewarding their
growth, development, efforts, and accomplishments.
Relating… rating… rewarding… These are the new 3Rs of Possibilities
Parenting. They will empower your children to become healthy and
productive.
Remember that, as a parent:
- You are your child's
first teacher.
- You may become their
most powerful teacher.
- You may be a lifelong
teacher.
Supporting Other Teachers
Once your child enters school, there will be other teachers influencing and
guiding them. You can join with these teachers by supporting their
constructive efforts. You can relate to their experiences and help them
become more effective. Together, you can encourage and free your children
to learn at high levels.
Life Long Learning
Your children are yours forever. You will always be there for them.
Therefore, you must help to empower and support them to become life-long
learners.
(1) Adopted for the Web based on Andrew H. Griffin, et.al. The New
Possibilities Parent - The New 3Rs skills kit. McLean, Virgnia: Carkhuff
Thinking Systems, October 2000.
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Things You Can Do To Help Your Children
Become Better Readers
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Reading skills begin at a very early age as children learn oral
language. The amount of oral language that kids hear and use provides an
important foundation for their development of reading skills. Children learn
about objects, events, feelings and ideas as they experience their world.
They learn the language skills and vocabulary to describe their observations
and experiences, as well as to express feelings and ideas.
As a parent or caretaker, you play an important role as "first
teacher." You can open new worlds for children and provide experiences
that develop their readiness for reading and for school. Your support and
assistance doesn't end once they start kindergarten. You will still be
showing them the joy and importance of reading by providing an environment
rich in print materials… and by reading to them and having them read to you
as well. These activities should continue throughout their school years.
Most children will eventually learn how to read. Whether they become good
readers and competent learners or not will depend in part on your help and
encouragement.
Things You Can Do
- Encourage your children to
learn from the world around them. Provide varied activities and
experiences that will help them gain knowledge. Involve them in
household chores, cooking, shopping, neighborhood walks and visits to
the zoo or to the museum. These will give them important experiences and
background knowledge.
- Talk to your children
about their experiences and listen to their responses. Taking the time
to discuss their experiences and answer their seemingly endless
questions will pay off as you help build their knowledge and model ways
of using oral language.
- Give them writing and
coloring materials, paper, picture books, magazines and a comfortable
place to read, write and draw.
- Read aloud to them on a
regular basis. Reading to preschool children is especially important,
but reading with older kids on a regular basis will help them as well.
- Talk with them about the
things you read… whether it's a newspaper, book, magazine, recipe, or
the directions for assembling their new bike.
- Tell them stories and have
them relate their stories to you. Encourage them to use art materials as
well as the household computer to illustrate or write stories that
capture their interest.
- When children ask
questions, help them find answers using a variety of sources. Help them
relate the issue to their knowledge and experience. Encourage them to
use references such as books, the Internet or knowledgeable people. Show
them how to demonstrate or test possible answers.
- Help them look up
definitions of interesting words in the dictionary or other reference
books, and also online.
- Take your children to the
library regularly and help them choose books they like.
- Carefully monitor their TV
habits. Watch educational programs together and discuss them afterwards.
- Set aside regular times
for individual and family reading, such as before bedtime or on
weekends. Discuss what you and your children have read.
- When your children read
aloud, give them time to correct their mistakes. Discuss strategies they
can use if they get "stuck."
- Encourage them to read
informational nonfiction books on various topics, as well as fictional
stories.
- Ask them to read a
favorite book, poem, or story into a tape recorder.
- Show interest in your
children's school performance, and monitor the development of their
reading skills. Set aside scheduled times for them to study their school
or library materials at home. Visit their school and discuss their reading
achievement with their teacher.
****
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Carkhuff Thinking Systems
Importance Of Parenting
Parenting is one of the most important responsibilities that we
assume in life. Many assume that parenting is learned naturally - that we
learn this role as a result of our own formative experiences. It is
interesting that a role this important isn't taught in a more formal
setting. (1)
Roles Of Parenting
Parenting is a many-faceted role. As parents, we are physical
caretakers, providers of basic needs, teachers, counselors, mentors,
coaches and lifelong friends. Each of these roles is important, but perhaps
one of the most important is the parental role of teacher.
Parents As Teachers
Parents are not only teachers: they are the most influential
teachers their children will ever have. And they teach their children in
many ways.
Teaching About The World
Children learn from the behavior and teaching of their parents. As
parents, we teach them about the world - about the facts, concepts, and
principles that we are learning ourselves. This type of teaching and
learning requires that we spend quality time with our children and make
ourselves available to them on a regular basis.
Providing Experiences and Relating
Children learn from the experiences provided by their parents. These
experiences include nearly every aspect of home and family life. They learn
how to respect authority and assume responsibility. They learn how to set
goals and achieve them. They learn how to care for others and to value the
things in life that have meaning, beauty and importance. Positive and
enriching experiences help kids to grow, to develop and to love learning.
Negative, retarding or destructive experiences cause kids to avoid and
dislike learning.
Learning By Imitation
Children learn by imitating the behavior of their parents. When
children imitate something, they practice what they see. If they see
loving, constructive parents who reach out and support others, they will
follow this example. If they see destructive parents who do not relate to
or support others, they are likely to imitate that as well. The healthier
and more facilitative we are, the healthier they will be. When we rate and
evaluate our levels and our children's levels of functioning, we open the
door to improving their health and wellbeing.
Learning By Reward
Last, children learn by being rewarded by their parents. Rewarding a
child means praising and encouraging them and acknowledging their efforts
and accomplishments. Kids tend to repeat the behaviors for which they are
rewarded. They may also repeat the behaviors for which they are punished;
hence, punishment may be fruitless. This means we need to learn to reward
the behaviors that move our children in positive, growth-producing
directions. We do this by being observant and rewarding their efforts and
positive accomplishments.
New 3Rs Of Parenting
To summarize, you become a healthy and productive parent:
- By relating to your
children and to their experiences.
- By rating their
healthfulness and evaluating their needs and strengths.
- By rewarding their
growth, development, efforts, and accomplishments.
Relating… rating… rewarding… These are the new 3Rs of Possibilities
Parenting. They will empower your children to become healthy and
productive.
Remember that, as a parent:
- You are your child's
first teacher.
- You may become their
most powerful teacher.
- You may be a lifelong
teacher.
Supporting Other Teachers
Once your child enters school, there will be other teachers influencing and
guiding them. You can join with these teachers by supporting their
constructive efforts. You can relate to their experiences and help them
become more effective. Together, you can encourage and free your children
to learn at high levels.
Life Long Learning
Your children are yours forever. You will always be there for them.
Therefore, you must help to empower and support them to become life-long
learners.
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(1) Adopted for the Web based on Andrew H. Griffin, et.al. The New
Possibilities Parent - The New 3Rs skills kit. McLean, Virgnia: Carkhuff
Thinking Systems, October 2000.
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Next:
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